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Another game I like to play is “Serial killer or secret soulmate?” The name originates from a curious exchange I had while waiting in line at the bar for a drink. It’s no secret that I enjoy fucking with people. When I go out and I’m not on the prowl, I’m quick with the creepy lines. However, this dude not only rose to my creepiness, he surpassed it.

Dude: Hey, loud in here!
Me: Yep.
Dude: What do you think of this place?
Me: It’s alright.
Dude: It’s my first time here.
Me: Cool.
Dude: Yeah, some friends and I wanted a fun night out.
Me: Good idea.
Dude: What do you do for fun?
Me: [Deadpan.] I like to drink the blood of virgins.
Dude: Oh. [Pause and then he takes a swig of his drink.] Me, too. I prefer A- or B+. How about you?

He actually left me speechless. That never happens. All I could do was awkwardly maintaine eye contact and back away slowly.
Uhhhh, ok.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thought of him. My friends all agreed that there is a very fine line between a serial killer and soulmate. He was quick on his feet and wasn’t phased by my crazy at all, but it is unclear if they are exsanguinated bodies chained up in his basement.

Anyway, this brings us to our latest contestant. (I’ve replaced his picture with that of a young Joseph Stalin because a) DAMN! and b) well, it’s pretty obvious.)

OkCupid message exchange

Reason for serial killer/overall creep:
1. Asked for inappropriate picture within 12 sentences of conversation.

Reason for secret soulmate:
1. His last ditch attempt at persuasion was a question.
2. This exchange ended so perfectly.
3. I kinda want to respond again.

Ah, well, on to the next one.

–b.d.sloane

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One thought on “Serial killer or secret soulmate? Early bird request.

  1. Pingback: Serial killer or secret soulmate? Graphic messages une. | Snarker.

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